Old Acquaintance Be Forgot
by Cheshire6845
Summary: A Workforce AU.  Tom and B'Elanna find the Command team after six weeks of searching.  Will Janeway and Chakotay want to remember Voyager?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Paramount and TPTB. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Notes: Rated PG for mild language and adult situations. Huge thanks to my Beta extraordinaires, Moof and Cori!

Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

Acting Captain's log Lt Cmdr Tuvok: It has been six weeks since the Captain and Commander failed to report back at our rendezvous site. The resupply mission they left on was scheduled to take five days. After six weeks of searching, we believe we have discovered their location. The local government has not been helpful as it appears there is a severe labor shortage on the planet. In an effort to maintain the safety of the crew, I have moved Voyager to a safe distance. Lts. Paris and Torres have taken the Delta Flyer to the planet. The goal is for them to approach the planet seeking jobs. Once on the planet they will make contact with our missing command crew.

B'Elanna walked through the plant eyeing as many of the workers as she could. Scans had indicated two human life signs at this particular plant, and she hoped she could find the Captain and Commander. Her hopes were fading as there had to be thousands of people here. With a sigh, she continued towards the supervisor's office where she was reporting for her first day on the job.

"Well Torres, level six in engineering and level five in quantum fusion. Welcome aboard."

B'Elanna smiled tightly at the shift supervisor as he led the way to the work floor. "I've heard good things about how you treat your employees."

"We try to keep our people happy. I'll introduce you to your department manager and he'll show you around." B'Elanna stifled a gasp when she was introduced to her manager. "Chief, this is your new engineer. Make her feel welcome."

The supervisor handed Chakotay a padd with her work references on it and left the two standing there.

"Chakotay?" B'Elanna asked hesitantly. She wasn't sure if he was acting undercover or if he really didn't know who she was. She didn't see any recognition in her old friend's eyes at the sight of her.

"That's my name." Her heart ached when he smiled at her unknowingly. "We're lucky to get such a skilled engineer as you. Our last one just transferred over to the Atmosphere Filtration facility a few days ago."

"Well, that's good news for me," she recovered. "You, uhm, look familiar. Have we ever met before?"

"No, I don't think so. We obviously aren't from the same place," he laughed. "Let me show you around."

As they walked towards her new work station he commented, "So, when are you due?"

B'Elanna's hand reflexively moved to the small bulge of her stomach, "In about three months."

"That's great. Congratulations." He held a door open for her and then floored her with his next comment. "My fiancée and I are trying to get pregnant as well."

B'Elanna stopped in mid stride. "What?"

He turned back to look at her surprised at her shocked expression.

"I'm sorry," B'Elanna immediately tried to recover. "You just caught me by surprise. I didn't think the plant allowed for fraternization."

"Well they don't, but my fiancée doesn't work here." He stopped in front of her console. "This is your station. If you have any questions I'll be right over there."

"Thanks," she managed to mumble at his departure still shocked by his revelation. B'Elanna watched as Chakotay moved into a small office that had a window overlooking the floor.

B'Elanna had been working for nearly four hours when she caught her first glimpse of Kathryn Janeway. She watched as Janeway strolled across the floor of the plant stopping to talk to people and even once pointing out an error on one of the consoles.

B'Elanna was amazed at how Janeway worked the room. She laughed easily and often at passing comments. This wasn't typical behavior of the Captain she saw all the time, but then Janeway put her hand on the chest of the next person that stopped her to talk. That was a signature Janeway move if B'Elanna had ever seen one. She waited until Janeway was almost next to her console and then deliberately moved into her path.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," B'Elanna said as she purposefully ran into Janeway.

Janeway's eyes danced but they held no recognition, "Not a problem, I should stop talking to everyone and watch where I'm going."

"Yes, you seem to know a lot of people here." She stuck her hand out. "I'm B'Elanna Torres."

Janeway shook her hand, "You must be the new engineer."

"That's what I'm told," B'Elanna sighed as she realized there wasn't going to be any secret messages from this woman that she regarded so highly. Janeway wasn't acting. She really had no idea who B'Elanna was.

"Well, let's hope you're better than the last one," Janeway laughed. "It was nice meeting you, but I've got to deliver these reports to the manager."

B'Elanna stepped out of her Captain's way and watched fascinated as Janeway entered the office where Chakotay was working. He took the pads that Janeway offered him and smiled at something she said. There was no spark between the two that B'Elanna could see. He simply began perusing the information on the padds. B'Elanna hoped they would glance in her direction indicating they were talking about her sudden appearance, but they didn't. She watched as Janeway made her way out of the office and across the floor in the direction opposite of the way she came. B'Elanna checked to see if Chakotay was watching Kathryn's departure the way he always did, but was disappointed to see he was sitting behind his desk reviewing reports.

Tom hadn't heard from B'Elanna yet, but he had managed to get himself a job doing something that was as second nature to him as piloting. He got a job bartending at the local pub. He had learned that most of the plant workers congregated here during their off hours and felt this was the best opportunity to find the people they were looking for outside of the plant. His skills were rewarded when he only had an hour left on his shift. Kathryn Janeway walked into the pub and had a seat at a back booth by herself.

As nonchalantly as possible Tom made his way over to her, "You're a sight for sore eyes."

She looked up from the padd she was reading and narrowed her eyes at him, "I beg your pardon."

Tom felt like he had just been rejected by his own mother. He knew in that moment she had no idea who he was. He stumbled, "I'm sorry. I thought you were someone I knew."

"Well, I'm not," She said dryly and turned her attention back to her reading. When Tom continued to stand there she looked back to him. "Was there something else?"

Tom mentally shook himself. This was too strange. She even dismissed him the same way she did as the Captain, and yet she was definitely not acting like the Janeway he knew. Since she wasn't acting like the Captain, Tom decided it wouldn't hurt to lay on the charm.

"I'm sorry again," He said giving her his best smile. "Now that we've determined we don't know each other, I was wondering if I could get you something from the bar."

She eyed him again and then tapped his left hand. "I don't think your wife would like that too much."

He fingered the wedding band that Janeway had just tapped. "Well, she'll like it even less if I lose my job."

Janeway's eyebrow rose in question.

"I'm the bartender," Tom laughed. "When I asked if I could get you something from the bar, I was merely speaking as a professional courtesy."

"Of course you were," she said laughing with him. "In that case I'll take an Irish coffee."

"Isn't that an Earth drink?" Tom asked

"Yes it is. Do you know Earth?" She asked wonderment filling her face.

"My parents were from there," Tom said. Hoping to spark a memory he commented, "They were involved with Starfleet."

"Starfleet?" She shook her head. "Don't know that one, but it's been a long time since I saw Earth."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, it's a long story. Suffice it to say I'm happy I left, and I've never looked back." She looked down for a moment. "But it's always nice to see another Terran."

Tom sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "I'll go get your drink."

B'Elanna walked in and sat down at the bar an hour later. Tom flashed her a smile and nodded towards the back booth while he finished with a customer. B'Elanna looked over the patrons in the bar before letting her gaze settle on Kathryn at the back booth. She looked as though she could be sitting in her ready room reading a report. B'Elanna sighed again.

"I know exactly how you feel," Tom said setting a glass in front of his wife. "I spoke with her and she had no idea who I was."

"Same here. Chakotay too," B'Elanna said sipping the drink. She was about to tell him the other Earth shattering news when she heard Chakotay's voice.

"Torres, how was your first day?" Chakotay walked up to the bar. "Hope it wasn't too stressful."

"Nothing I couldn't handle," she said watching him as he motioned to Tom.

"That's good to hear." He turned to Tom who had a hopeful look on his face at being addressed by the big guy. "I'd like a Nebular on the rocks and an Irish Coffee."

Tom's face fell, but he just nodded and began to fix the drinks. "Irish coffee is popular tonight."

Chakotay laughed, "How many has she had?"

"Two already," Tom said setting the drinks on the bar. "How'd you know I was talking about one woman?"

"Kathryn is the only one that orders them, but she drinks enough of them that the Proprietress said it's worth keeping it around." He laughed and started to pick up the drinks.

"Chakotay," B'Elanna said stopping him. She gestured towards Tom, "This is my husband, Tom."

"Really?" He set the drinks back down. "Nice to meet you. I understand congratulations are in order."

Tom risked a glance at B'Elanna wondering what Chakotay was referring to. "For what?"

Chakotay laughed, "Your baby, of course."

"Oh, right. Thank you," Tom said again disappointed.

"The two of you are welcome to join Kathryn and me, if you'd like," Chakotay offered.

"My shift just ended. That'd be great," Tom said as he came from around the bar. They followed Chakotay over to the table and were graced with a full smile from Kathryn when she looked up from her reading.

Kathryn stood up and took the coffee from Chakotay while giving him a kiss hello, "I missed you today."

"I missed you, too," He said wrapping his arm around her waist. "This is B'Elanna Torres my new engineer and her husband. I understand you've already met him."

Kathryn turned towards the younger couple who were desperately trying to reign in their shock. "Small world isn't it? I've already bumped into B'Elanna, and yes, Tom and I met earlier."

"So I hear," Chakotay commented as they all four sat down in the booth. "You're supposed to be cutting back on the caffeine."

The glare Tom received was so Captain-like he almost snapped to attention, but then Kathryn turned to B'Elanna. "My fiancée thinks that if I drink caffeine I won't get pregnant. Now B'Elanna, tell me, did you miraculously conceive because you weren't ingesting caffeine?"

Tom almost spewed his drink at this comment, but B'Elanna stepped on his foot under the table. "You're Chakotay's fiancée? But I saw you at the plant today."

Kathryn waved her hand in dismissal of this comment, "Oh that, I was just dropping off some turnover reports."

"She wanted to see me," Chakotay said with a wink.

"I wanted to see him," Kathryn admitted. "I transferred last week to the Atmosphere Filtration facility."

Some pieces of the puzzle clicked in B'Elanna's mind, "You're the engineer that left?"

"Yeah," Chakotay said chuckling. "We've been together awhile now, but because of the fraternization rules we had to keep our relationship a secret. We were tired of hiding it so she transferred. Are you okay, Tom?"

Tom really wished they'd stop throwing out these comments while he was drinking. He continued coughing but signaled that he was alright. "Sorry, it must've gone down wrong."

Kathryn laughed, "I think we're shocking the young ones, Chakotay. All this talk about procreation, it must be like listening to their parents talk about sex."

B'Elanna smiled and patted Tom's back as he began a new round of coughing.

"Tuvok, we found them," Paris reported once he and B'Elanna were back on the Delta Flyer for the night. What an interesting meal that had been. "We weren't able to bring them back with us. They don't know who we are. It seems like some sort of specialized amnesia. They know parts about who they are, but most of the details are wrong. They're very happy here. We have a plan, but it may take us a couple of days."

Tuvok nodded after Paris explained his plan, "Very well, Mr. Paris. We will hold position here. Contact us again when you have something further to report."

Paris signed off and turned to look at his wife. "I feel terrible about this."

"I know," she said sitting down across from him. "They're so happy here, but we can't just leave them. This isn't their life. It's all a lie."

"And neither one of them likes to be manipulated," Tom sighed. "The Captain just looked so relaxed."

"That wasn't the Captain," B'Elanna stated emphatically. "That was Kathryn Janeway."

Two days later

"That meal was delicious B'Elanna," Chakotay said leaning back from the table. "Thank you so much for having us over."

"It was our pleasure," B'Elanna said as she stood up and began to collect the dishes from the table. "Now, why don't you men go outside for a few minutes so we girls can talk about you while you're gone."

Tom laughed heartily and pushed himself to his feet hoping to guide Chakotay outside, "C'mon Chakotay, I'm sure we have almost the same view of the refinery as you do."

"Employee housing does all look alike," Kathryn commented helping B'Elanna clear the table. "But at least your cooking console isn't temperamental. I've never had as much trouble with anything as I've had with trying to not burn our meals lately."

"It's alright Kathryn, not everyone can cook," B'Elanna sneaked a peak at Kathryn. She knew she could overpower the older woman if she needed to, but she really didn't want to be the woman that underestimated Kathryn Janeway. If she played it just right, she wouldn't have to use physical force. As Kathryn made another trip out to the table and back, B'Elanna secretly palmed the hypospray she was going to use. It was now or never.

"Kathryn, would you mind looking under the sink for a container for this extra food?"

"Sure," Kathryn beamed at B'Elanna. "I guess getting up and down isn't as easy as it used to be for you."

Kathryn squatted down to look inside the cabinet. B'Elanna took a deep steadying breath and made her move. She walked over and stood slightly behind Kathryn's shoulder and pretended to be pointing inside the cabinet. As she gestured to a container in the back of the cabinet, she quickly brought up her other hand to pull back on Kathryn's shoulder. Kathryn was already balanced precariously on the balls of her feet and was easily pulled off balance. B'Elanna brought the hypospray into contact with Kathryn's neck.

"What the hell…" The shocked look of betrayal and anger on Kathryn's face went straight to B'Elanna's core. She caught her Captain as her eyes rolled back and she passed out from the drug B'Elanna had administered. B'Elanna gently laid her down on the floor, and immediately checked Kathryn's vitals to assure herself. She also reminded herself that she was doing this for the right reasons. She gave her unconscious Captain one last look and reset the hypospray before she started yelling.

"Tom! Chakotay! Come quick." It wasn't too difficult to appear frantic when the men arrived in the kitchen as she still felt guilty for rendering Kathryn unconscious. "She said she didn't feel right and then she just collapsed."

Chakotay had rushed to Kathryn's side and after checking for a pulse was now cradling her in his arms. "Kathryn. C'mon Kathryn, wake up."

B'Elanna palmed the hypospray again while Tom took up position across from Chakotay. The desperate pleading in Chakotay's voice was almost B'Elanna's undoing. Tom looked up at her and nodded to her while he spoke to Chakotay, "She'll be alright Chakotay, we'll get her a cold rag and see if that won't bring her out of it."

Chakotay never even registered that B'Elanna was standing behind him. He was so focused on Kathryn that he never saw it coming. B'Elanna administered the sedative to his neck. Chakotay's head snapped up when he felt the hiss on his neck and realized what was happening. He locked eyes with Tom for a moment before the drug took effect and he slumped over. Tom reeled from the intensity of the anger he had glimpsed in Chakotay's eyes. "If he wakes up before we can get him back to Voyager, I think he's going to kill us."

"He'll have to get in line. Kathryn is none to thrilled with me right now either," B'Elanna said stepping towards her husband. "I hate this, Tom. I really hate this."

He hugged her, "I know."

After checking their vitals, Tom left to get the Flyer; leaving B'Elanna to keep a vigil over her two friends. They had already put pattern enhancers into place in the apartment and could now beam through the interference. As soon as Tom could get in the air, he was going to beam all three of them straight to the Flyer. Feeling overprotective, B'Elanna took out the medical tricorder to scan her friends one more time just to assure herself that they were fine. She had been too frantic and guilt ridden to notice it the first time, but this time she gasped when she ran the tricorder over Kathryn's still form. Kathryn was two weeks pregnant.

B'Elanna continued to stand watch over the command team in the lower belly of the Flyer. She had masked their life signs so that Tom wouldn't have to explain their presence as he navigated out of Quarren space. While she waited for Tom to sound the all clear she tried to keep herself busy. She attached Janeway's and Chakotay's comm. badges to their clothes. She smoothed Kathryn's hair so that it was off of her face. B'Elanna couldn't help but stare at these two people that meant so much to her. Even unconscious, they both looked more relaxed than she had seen them in years, and she was taking all that away from them. She wrapped her arms around herself and tucked her chin down hoping that she and Tom had done the right thing.

Tom came down the steps and wrapped his arms around his wife and propped his chin on her shoulder. "They look great don't they?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Tom, I scanned them while you were getting the Flyer, just to make sure they were alright and well…."

"I know," he hugged her tighter. "The Captain's going to be a mother."

B'Elanna stayed quiet for a moment, "What do you think she'll do?"

"I don't know," he commented quietly. "We have to get her back first. I just hope the Doc can reverse whatever's been done to them."

"Kahless, I hadn't even considered that. If he can't get them to remember who they are, we really have kidnapped them." She turned to face him. "We may still lose them. I can't imagine them wanting to stay on a ship with people they don't know for the next forty years."

"One thing at a time." Tom pushed her hair back from her face. "Let's just get them back to Voyager first. Then we'll worry about everything else."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See part 1

Old Acquaintance Be Forgot Part 2 by Cheshire

B'Elanna and Tom walked straight to sickbay after landing in the shuttle bay. They had beamed the Captain and the Commander directly there and Tuvok was on his way to meet them.

They entered and saw the Doctor working calmly between the two biobeds. Tuvok was already present and receiving the preliminary report as the Doctor scanned his patients. "They seem to be in very good health, all things considered."

He frowned as the scanner reached Kathryn's midsection and he looked up to confirm whether or not Tom already knew. Tom nodded. "We didn't know about her condition until after we used the sedative. I checked the database and the amount we administered shouldn't have any adverse affects."

"The Captain's condition?" Tuvok asked.

B'Elanna crossed her arms and studied her boots while Tom found the tricorder he was holding to be very interesting all of a sudden. The Doctor looked up, "Well, you are acting Captain at the moment so I suppose you have a right to know of the away team's condition. The Captain is two weeks pregnant with the Commander's child."

"Indeed." Tuvok's eyebrow didn't even move as he received the news. "A not unforeseeable circumstance."

"What?!" B'Elanna exclaimed. "You expected this?"

"When you reported that they were living together without the inhibitions of command, I presumed their relationship may have taken on a more personal level," he explained calmly.

"Yes, well that's not the only change. Their memory engrams have had extensive modification" the Doctor said while continuing to work. "This was a very complicated procedure that was done to them."

"Can you reverse it, Doc?" Paris asked.

"I believe so, and I've already taken the first step which was to remove the active blockers. This will be a lengthy process. I won't be able to reverse the entire procedure at once, nor will I be able to keep them sedated." The Doctor put his instruments down and turned to the three officers. "In order to map their active memories they will have to be conscious. After the mapping is complete, I can sedate them for each stage of the procedure. When they awaken they will be confused, and knowing these two, very likely confrontational. I have no process to remove the implanted or the more recently made memories. We will have to help them through some very traumatic times as their true memories resurface and they distinguish which are implanted and which are real."

The Vulcan nodded, "How long will the entire procedure take?"

"As I've said, I've removed the blockers that had been put into place, but it will take their cooperation and at least three more sessions to fully incorporate access to their old memories. I'll keep them sedated through the night while I program a detailed workup of their memory centers from previous scans," he said as he administered a hypospray to each of the command team. "I can wake them in the morning and we can begin to let them get reacquainted with their lives."

Kathryn could swear she heard someone calling her name, but it wasn't Chakotay and no one else should be in her bedroom. She opened her eyes and squinted against the harsh light. She was not in her bedroom.

"Good morning." A bald man stepped into her line of vision and raised a metal instrument towards her.

Kathryn lashed out at the man, raising herself to her elbows and knocking the instrument away from him. The room began to spin from her sudden movement and she felt hands on her shoulders and heard another voice. "We mean you no harm. You are safe here."

Kathryn opened her eyes and saw a dark skinned man with pointy ears holding her upright. She tried to speak but had to clear her throat in order to get any sound out, "Where am I?"

"You are in the sickbay of the Federation Starship Voyager." He released her shoulders. "I am Lt. Cmdr Tuvok and this is our Doctor."

Kathryn looked the Doctor over before returning her attention to the one called Tuvok. "How did I get here?"

Unfortunately, Tuvok didn't have time to answer her question as Paris chose that moment to walk into sickbay for his duty shift. Kathryn immediately recognized him, "You!"

Paris froze in midstep, "Uh oh."

Kathryn jumped up from the bed and backed away from all three of them as fast as she could. When she was on the other side of the biobed she was able to see Chakotay laying on the bed in the corner. "Oh, God!"

The three officers watched as she crossed to him and tried waking him up. "What the hell is going on here? Who are you people? Why have you kidnapped us?"

The Doctor stepped forward to assure her that Chakotay was okay, but Tuvok stopped him. "We only want to help you."

"What's the matter with him? Why won't he wake up?" Her attention was now focused solely on Chakotay.

"The Commander is fine," Tuvok said stepping towards her. Kathryn cringed away from him, but did not release Chakotay's hand. "Will you let the Doctor wake him?"

Kathryn looked uncertainly from one man to the other before giving a brief short nod. The Doctor approached the other side of the bed slowly and administered a hypospray, "He'll come around in just a few minutes."

She nodded again never taking her eyes off any of them. Paris wanted to smile as he noticed that she had positioned herself between the three of them and Chakotay, but he didn't want to draw any more attention to himself than he already had. It was at that moment that Kathryn locked eyes with Tom. "Who are you?"

He cleared his throat, "I'm Tom Paris."

She scoffed, "Yeah, and you're just a bartender right?"

Tuvok stepped forward again, "His name is Tom Paris. He is a Lieutenant and the pilot of this ship. He is also a personal friend of the Captain of this ship."

She never took her eyes off Paris, "So what? I should be nice to him because he knows the Captain?"

Tuvok took a breath in, "You are the Captain."

"That's absurd," Kathryn scoffed, but was stopped from saying anything else when she felt Chakotay squeeze her hand. She looked down at him and smiled for the first time since she woke up.

He opened his eyes and looked at her, "Hi."

"Chakotay, we aren't in the apartment," she said quietly.

He looked past her at the unfamiliar bulkheads and then back to her, "Kathryn, are you alright?"'

She gave him a genuine smile, "I'm fine, but we aren't alone."

He frowned and sat up. He didn't know the bald guy or the dark skinned one, but he recognized the bartender. He remembered Tom standing over Kathryn's unconscious form. This was all his fault. "You bastard."

Chakotay got off the bed and in front of Kathryn, but Tuvok stepped in front of Tom. "Regrettably, I cannot let you assault Mr. Paris."

Chakotay was fuming, "What the hell is going on?"

"I will attempt to explain," Tuvok said calmly. Chakotay backed up until he stood next to Kathryn. They clasped hands and nodded for Tuvok to continue.

"This will be difficult for you to accept, but your memories have been tampered with. You do not belong on Quarra working at that plant. The two of you were on a supply mission when you went missing six weeks ago. You were kidnapped and made to believe that you belonged there," Tuvok continued, "You are in fact the Captain and First Officer of this vessel."

Chakotay squeezed Kathryn's hand and exchanged a quick look with her. "We know things about our lives there. Do you have any proof of what you're saying?"

"We do. We have your personal quarters, official logs, and your personal logs," Tuvok paused. "The Doctor can restore your memories, but it will take three different sessions. We had to awaken you in order to scan your active memories so that we would have a starting place."

Tuvok stopped speaking and both sides stared at each other. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence Kathryn spoke, "Can we have a few minutes alone please?"

"Of course, Captain."

"Why don't you just call me Kathryn."

Tuvok nodded and stepped back towards the Doctor's office with Paris in tow.

"When are we going to tell her?" Paris asked once the three officers were in the office with the door closed. He didn't have to explain what he meant.

"The stress over the next few days will be bad enough without adding that fuel to the fire," the Doctor commented. "I believe it would be prudent to handle one medical problem at a time."  
"I agree Doctor. Once she is herself again, the Captain can make an informed decision about her condition," Tuvok stated watching the two people in sickbay converse. He turned to the Doctor, "We must also make plans for their possible non cooperation with continuing the procedure."

The Doctor grimaced and Tom looked uncomfortable but they were all agreed. Hopefully it wouldn't come to it, but the memories of Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway were going to be brought back whether they agreed to it or not.

"Chakotay, this is crazy! These people kidnapped us, and now they want to change our memories," Kathryn hissed as they stood in the farthest corner of sickbay they could.

"I think its best if we play along for now. They obviously have us outnumbered and have more capabilities than we do," Chakotay said looking over her shoulder at the office. "Let's see what they have to show us and look for a way out of here."

"Agreed." She gave him a quick kiss before they walked towards the office together.

After some discussion, Tuvok returned to the bridge. Since neither Chakotay or Kathryn trusted Tom at the moment, it fell to the Doctor to show them their old surroundings. The three of them had no more than left sickbay when a slender female came around the corner almost running into Kathryn.

"Oh, I am so sorry. Captain!" The young woman exclaimed. "And Commander, it is so good to see you. I'm so glad you're back." She gave Kathryn a quick hug and then began stammering again. "I'm sorry. I'm sure that wasn't appropriate, but I'm just glad you're okay. Uhm, sorry. Excuse me. Welcome home."

Kathryn shook her head as the young woman departed their company as quickly as she had come into it. Kathryn had never seen her species before. She appeared Terran except for some ridge wrinkles on her nose. Kathryn looked to the Doctor for an explanation.

"Crewman Celes Tal," he said as they entered the turbolift. "She's one of your reclamation projects."

"My reclamation projects?" Kathryn asked confused.

"She's one of the crewman aboard the ship that was having difficulty adjusting and the Captain, you, took her under your wing," the Doctor explained. "She's been doing much better these days."

The Doctor stopped them in front of a sliding door and motioned for Chakotay to enter a sequence on the pad near the door. Chakotay just looked at him and he explained, "These are your quarters, try entering an access code that you would use to open the doors."

Chakotay shrugged and entered a sequence, the computer beeped at him that he was incorrect. Chakotay looked over at Kathryn for a moment and tried again entering a different sequence. The doors opened and Kathryn stared at him. He shrugged again, "I used your birthday."

She raised an eye and walked past him through the open doors where she immediately gasped. Having only been in sickbay and the corridors this was the first time she could see the stars of space streaking by outside. She walked across the quarters and stood by the viewports. She spoke quietly to herself but both of the men were able to hear her, "We really aren't on the planet anymore."

The Doctor pointed at a viewscreen that was sitting on the desk, "You can access all of your logs from there just tell the computer which ones to display. I'll be in the corridor if you need me."

Chakotay nodded half listening to the Doctor. His attention had been captured by a sand painting hanging framed on the wall. He knew at once that he had made it. The essence of the picture was obvious to him. The art depicted bold swirls of reds and oranges with softer shades of mauve and peach blended into the curves. All along the edges were sands of blue seeping in at differing depths. It was a depiction of Kathryn. He smiled and turned to look at her.

She was still standing by the viewport staring out at the passing star field. She had one hand on the small of her back and the other cupping her chin as she stood lost in thought. The stance was so familiar to him. He caught her standing like that often on the patio of their apartment. He'd find her there in the early mornings with coffee in hand or in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. She had always been looking up at the stars, and now she was among them.

"Kathryn," He said her name very quietly but she turned to look at him. She very quickly brushed her hand across her cheek and he knew she was wiping away a tear. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She crossed to the desk. "What have you found?"

He motioned to the painting and she came to stand beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and asked, "What do you see?"

"Power. Beauty. But there's a sadness present," she said softly after studying the sands. "What do you see?"

He smiled at her answer but didn't answer her question. "I created that."

She turned in his arms to face him, "What are you talking about? I've never seen it. I didn't even know you could do something like that."

"You didn't know?" He frowned and released her to pick up a wood carving that was on the shelf next to the painting. "This is my work as well."

"But how is that possible? I mean are you sure?" She asked him examining the wooden sculptures herself. She'd actually seen him do a few of these and she had to admit to herself that these she held now looked remarkably similar.

"I don't know how, but I know I did that painting." He sat down at the desk and pulled the screen around where he could see it. "Computer display Chakotay's logs."

"Specify officer or personal logs."

"Personal."

A scrolling list came up on the screen, it was multiple pages of log entries. Chakotay scrolled to the last one and saw that the date was approximately six weeks prior. Kathryn came and stood next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He hit the playback.

_Personal Log: I'm leaving in a couple of hours with Kathryn on this supply mission. I could care less about the supplies really. I'm just happy to be getting Kathryn off the ship and away from everyone for a few days. She needs the break, not that she'll ever admit to it. Plus five whole days with just Kathryn and we'll be out of comm. range so that damn Vulcan can't interrupt us if I manage to get her shields down. I swear he does it on purpose._

"So, you're trying to get my shields down?" Kathryn asked when the recording ended.

Chakotay wanted to smile and respond playfully to her barb knowing it was her effort to break the tension that was quickly filling the room. But he couldn't. Glancing at these logs it was clear they went back at least seven years, and for the most part they appeared to be daily. Why would anyone go to that much trouble to create an illusion? He was beginning to believe these Voyagers. He randomly listened to several more logs and watched bits and pieces of them. Almost all of his personal logs mentioned Kathryn at some point.

She had gone back to staring out at the stars, but he knew she was listening to everything he played. Her shoulders had betrayed her by hunching up during a particular recording. Chakotay had listened to himself as he talked about an argument he and Kathryn had. She had relieved him of duty. He never once said anything bad about her decision just that he was extremely concerned about what actions she would take and regret later.

The chime on the door buzzed and the Doctor walked back into the room, "How's everything going?"

They both just stared at his cheerful disposition. He quickly calmed and addressed Kathryn, "Would you like to see your quarters or do you need some more time here?"

"I don't stay here?" Kathryn asked clearly confused and looked to Chakotay.

The Doctor looked extremely uncomfortable, "Um, no this is just the Commander's quarters. Yours are next door."

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay before moving forward towards the corridor, "Fine, let's go see my quarters."

Chakotay was worried. Kathryn had dug her heels in and she wasn't about to be persuaded. She had gotten the sequence to open her cabin doors on the first attempt, but she was not impressed. Chakotay knew she had already decided she didn't belong here. Unfortunately, there wasn't much in her quarters to dissuade her.

Having the Captain's quarters meant hers were slightly larger than his but there were significantly fewer personal touches. There were some old fashioned leather bound books of poetry on the shelves and a small vase on the coffee table. He presumed that the vase usually held flowers of some sort. At first glance, there was nothing here to connect Kathryn to these quarters.

As soon as the Doctor had stepped out again, she turned to him, "Do you see anything here that reminds you of me?"

He didn't. Not really. But he wanted to try and find something so he moved closer to examine the books, "These are epic poetry. I know you've mentioned Dante before."

"That's so circumstantial. It means nothing," she moved into the bathroom. "I do like the tub though. Whoever lives here has some nice scents picked out."

Chakotay smiled slightly as he joined her. He looked over the few bottles that were laid out next to the tub. They each had light scents that he associated with Kathryn. Rose. Honey. "Let's look around some more."

Kathryn moved to the closet and Chakotay opened a couple of drawers. "Well at least they have my size right."

Chakotay glanced up to see her holding a blue dress to herself. He almost dropped the picture he had found. "Kathryn, look at this."

She hung the dress back in the closet and took the offered picture. It was a picture of herself in the dress. She immediately looked back to the closet before looking back down at the frame. In the picture she wasn't looking at the camera and didn't appear to know there was a picture being taken. She looked happy with a smudge of dirt on her face and her hands buried in the soil of a garden. There was no denying the picture was of her. She looked up at Chakotay, "I don't remember having ever been anywhere like this."

Chakotay had found several picture frames in the drawer. He handed her another one. She gasped when she took it and ran her hand over it, "Molly."

"The dog?" Chakotay asked. He was more interested in the man that was in the picture with Kathryn and the dog, but was curious as to why Kathryn fixated on the dog.

"Yes," Kathryn said quietly. "I had her when I was still on Earth."

"When was that?"

She had a crease in her forehead as she thought about it but then she shrugged and handed the picture back to him. "Before we left I guess."

She began to walk back into the living area, but Chakotay reached out and tugged her arm. He had two more framed pictures to show her. One was of the two of them at what appeared to be some sort of luau. The second picture Kathryn looked at and then sank onto the bed staring at it.

Chakotay gave her a minute before asking, "Why don't I know who those people are, Kathryn?"

She looked up at him startled, and then back down at the picture. It was a picture of her with two other women. She was wearing the red and black uniform that hung in the closet. She had an arm draped around each of the women. One appeared to be close to the same age as her but maybe a little younger and with darker hair. The other woman was obviously her mother. She had the same blue eyes as the two younger women in the picture and the same facial features even though her hair was completely grey in comparison. "This is my mother and my sister, Phoebe."

"I've never met them," Chakotay said sitting down next to her. "Why is that?"

"They live on Earth," she answered brushing her fingertips over the glass.

"Why did we leave Earth?"

"Because of the violence there." Kathryn stood up and threw the picture on the bed and began pacing. "And it doesn't matter. What does matter is the here and now."

Chakotay sighed. He had made his decision and apparently so had she. The problem was they had each come to a different conclusion. "Kathryn, I'm going to go through with the procedure."

"What?!" She came to a dead stop in front of him. "Why?"

"There's too much of me in that cabin next door for me to simply believe they made it all up. What if I belong here? What if we belong here? I can't live my life not knowing what these Voyagers know."

"We don't belong here," she pleaded with him before she began pacing again. "There's no proof here. So they planted a few pictures in here that I'd recognize, but that doesn't mean that I'm their Captain."

"But Kathryn, you could be. You monitor reactions at the plant, but we both know you could be running that plant if you put your mind to it."

"Why would I want all that responsibility?" Kathryn argued. "I'm happy with you. With our life together. With the life we are trying to make together."

"So am I."

"Then why are you willing to risk everything we have on the word of strangers?" She asked kneeling between his legs.

He grasped her face in his hands, "I love you Kathryn. Nothing can ever change that, believe me."

"I believe you and I love you."

"Then we'll go forward with this together. We have to know."

Kathryn sighed and kissed the palm of his hand, "I must be out of my mind, but let's try it."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See part 1

Old Acquaintance Be Forgot Part 3 by Cheshire

The Doctor had finished the first treatment and chose to wake Chakotay up first this time. He'd let the confused first officer handle the ever reticent Captain. He administered a hypospray and watched as Chakotay slowly woke and began to look around.

"Do you see anything familiar?" He asked.

Chakotay nodded still looking around, "Everything looks familiar, but I don't know it. Its like I've been here before, but only once and it was a long time ago. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, for now. Things will become clearer with each treatment," the Doctor assured him. "Are you feeling well enough to handle her?"

Chakotay smiled and looked over at the still unconscious form of Kathryn on the biobed next to him. "Can she have coffee?"

"In an effort to protect the health of all involved, I'll say yes," the Doctor answered pressing a hypospray to her neck.

Chakotay brought a cup of coffee back from the replicator and stood by her side and watched as she started to come around. This action too felt familiar and he gave himself a mental shake when Kathryn's eyes opened and found his. He could see the confusion and questions in her blue gaze. He sincerely hoped she had not misplaced her trust in him as far as this procedure was concerned.

She sat up and he placed the mug of coffee into her hands. She immediately relaxed a notch, but he saw her eyes scanning the room over the rim of the cup. She caught him watching her and gave him a small smile. "I feel like I'm still dreaming."

He decided to go for humor, "Because I'm so handsome and you can't believe your luck to have found me?"

She rolled her eyes but the tension eased.

The Doctor approached them. "Cap..Kathryn, how do you feel?"

"I'm fine," she answered and swung her legs off the biobed missing the Doctor's aggrieved expression at the return of her standard answer.

"Could you elaborate?" He asked stopping her movements.

She frowned at him as he ran a tricorder over her, "This feels like déjà vu."

"What do you mean?"

"This," she threw her hand in the air. "All of it. You frowning at me. Waking up in this place. It feels like I've done it before, but I don't remember it having ever happened."

He closed the tricorder satisfied with the results. "You and I have had many discussions here in a similar manner."

"Why?"

"Why what?" The Doctor asked confused.

"Why have you and I had many discussions here? Do we argue? Am I a patient of yours often? Is that why we've had many discussions?" Kathryn rattled off her questions.

"You are here more often than either of us would like," the Doctor hedged.

"What does that mean?"

The Doctor looked to Chakotay for help but found none, "You aren't exactly a sit behind the desk kind of Captain."

Kathryn stared hard at the Doctor but redirected her ire towards Chakotay when he laughed at the Doctor's comment.

Chakotay raised his hands in defense, "That I can believe. You've always been one to get your hands dirty."

She continued to glare at him until the Doctor spoke up again, "I'm hoping this treatment will allow you to begin to recognize some familiar things. I don't expect you to have any real memories come back yet, but they should after the second treatment."

"Assuming there is a second treatment," Kathryn commented daring either man to disagree with her.

The Doctor opened his mouth and then closed it simply nodding acquiescence. The Captain always did enjoy getting the last word in any argument so he'd let her this time.

"So, now what?" Chakotay asked breaking the stalemate.

"Mr. Neelix has volunteered to come by and take you around. Familiarize you with your ship again."

"And this is the mess hall," Neelix said with a flourish as he led the command team through the doors. "The crew has the option of eating here as well as socializing with each other outside of duty hours when time permits."

The idea of familiarizing Captain Janeway with her own ship had taken some getting used to, but the Talaxian accepted it as part of his ambassadorial duties. He intended on taking them to the bridge and her ready room next hoping to stir some memories. He watched as the two officers milled around staying in close proximity to each other. Neelix had been relieved to find only a few crew members currently in the mess hall. "This used to be the Captain's mess, but I redesigned it into a kitchen."

He led them into the little cooking area and missed the entrance of B'Elanna. She was picking a piece of fruit out of the bowl at the bar when the trio reemerged. Neelix lost his train of thought when he saw the expression on the Captain's face as she caught sight of B'Elanna.

"Now her," Kathryn's voice dripped ice cold venom as she spoke and B'Elanna's head snapped up at the sound of it. "I remember."

"Captain." B'Elanna's breath caught in her throat. She had been avoiding this moment after hearing about Tom's experience, and now she'd been caught completely unprepared.

"Oh, its Captain now is it?" Kathryn's voice remained hard as she rounded the bar closing distance with B'Elanna. "I trusted you."

B'Elanna flinched and ducked her head at Kathryn's words, "I know."

Chakotay lightly put his hand on Kathryn's upper arm while Neelix practically jumped in between the two women. "There there, Captain. You wouldn't want to cause any injury to your Chief Engineer."

Kathryn seethed but B'Elanna spoke up, "I'm sorry, but I had to make a choice. Leaving you there was unacceptable."

"You had no right to make that decision for me," Kathryn snarled.

"I did what I thought was best." B'Elanna straightened and looked Kathryn in the eyes. "Just as my Captain did for me once."

Kathryn blinked and Chakotay could feel the change in her muscles as she uncoiled.

"I hope that one day you will trust me again." B'Elanna turned to leave. "If you'll excuse me, Captain."

"Kathryn?" Chakotay asked quietly.

She turned and looked at him confusion clearly in her eyes. "It's nothing."

Neelix breathed a sigh of relief and led the two out of the mess hall in the direction opposite of engineering.

Once again Chakotay watched as Kathryn stood before the viewport and looked out at the stars only this time they were in her ready room. The little alien, Neelix, had brought them here after the disastrous meeting in the mess hall. He had then wisely stepped outside to give them time to look around on their own.

"Are you alright?" He asked her and watched as she turned towards him from the upper landing.

"It's all so surreal," she sighed in frustration. "I can't think of a single thing to associate myself with these surroundings and yet everything feels so familiar."

"Like that argument you had with B'Elanna?"

"What?" She asked and then realized what he meant. "Yes, one minute I wanted to hit her, and then the next it felt like I had been through all of that with her before."

"I know what you mean," he joined her by the viewport and put his arms around her. "Everything is so foggy."

"Do you really think the fog will lift if the Doctor finishes these treatments?" She asked him quietly.

He thought for a minute before answering her, "Yes. I do. Despite the not knowing, I feel more attune here than I can ever remember feeling on Quarra."

"Even with me?"

"I know exactly what I feel with you. There's no doubt in my mind." He turned her around in his arms. "But I want what we have to be real and to do that I have to find out whether or not our lives on this ship are real."

"I guess that means there will be a second treatment after all." She smiled slightly. "That's too bad; I really wanted to prove that Doctor wrong."

"Mr. Paris, I'm going to need you here this morning," the Doctor said moving about the sickbay. "I'm about to wake our two patients from their second treatment, and I may need your assistance."

"Uh, Doc in case you forgot," Tom began. "They really aren't too thrilled with me right now."

"Believe me, Mr. Paris, I gleefully remember the Commander wanting to throttle you yesterday," he said coming to a stop between the two biobeds. "Humans, however, remember negative events more easily than they do positive ones. Our patients should start having distinct memories return and unfortunately bad memories may be more easily accessible at first."

Kathryn opened her eyes to find Chakotay once again standing beside her. She regarded his coolness carefully and pushed herself up to a sitting position. She frowned when she saw Paris, but she wasn't nearly as irritated with him as she had been yesterday. She studied him trying to piece together any thoughts he inspired.

"How do you feel, Captain?" The Doctor asked interrupting her train of thought.

"I asked you not to call me that." She glanced at Chakotay and saw him studying Paris as well. The warmth in his eyes, that she had grown accustomed to, was missing. She touched his arm, "What is it?"

He stepped back from her touch never taking his eyes off of Tom, "He's a traitor."

Tom swallowed thickly. He really hoped the Doctor was not going to soon have a third patient.

Kathryn hopped off the bed and stood in front of Chakotay placing herself between him and Tom, "He's not a traitor. He's Starfleet."

Chakotay dropped his gaze to hers and asked coldly, "What do you know about Starfleet?"

"I don't know." She faltered and took a step back from the intensity of Chakotay's gaze, "It's something he mentioned in the bar back on the planet."

"Is there anything else you remember about Starfleet?" The Doctor prodded her when she didn't continue.

She concentrated and said hesitantly, "They hold the Prime Directive to be their most sacred rule."

"And what is the Prime Directive?"

"I don't know," she practically growled after a moment's concentration. She faced Tom. "You said your family back on earth was Starfleet?"

Tom exchanged a quick look with the Doctor, "Yes. My family has been part of Starfleet practically since its inception. My father is an Admiral."

"Owen," Kathryn spoke quietly almost to herself. "That's your father's name. How do I know that?"

"You served with my father for several years."

"Do you remember anything else about Owen?" The Doctor asked.

"He was screaming. Oh God." All the blood drained from Kathryn's face and she brought a trembling hand up to her mouth. "Why was he screaming?"

"Cardassians." Chakotay's voice bristled with unbridled anger as he spoke. All four adults froze at the dark utterance.

Kathryn turned away and threw up. Chakotay looked away from her as Tom rushed forward to help. The Doctor followed Chakotay as he slowly walked to the other side of sickbay. He stopped next to one of the biobeds.

"My nemesis was here," Chakotay spoke quietly.

The Doctor could no longer hear the Captain heaving and felt sure Paris had her well in hand. He decided to concentrate on the first officer for the time being. This was going as bad as he imagined, but he hoped throughout the day these most violent memories would taper off. "Do you have any other memories from this area?"

Chakotay blinked and began to look around again. He ran his hand over the stand alone console, "She thought I betrayed her."

"Chakotay, who thought you betrayed them?"

"The Captain." He was staring straight ahead at the lone biobed. "She might have been dying and she asked me to do something for her. I went against her."

"That was with the Borg," the Doctor spoke stepping into Chakotay's line of vision. "You didn't betray her. You simply acted in the best way you thought."

"But I did betray her." Chakotay looked up at the Doctor, his eyes haunted. "I ordered Tuvok to kill her."

Tom led Kathryn to the refresher so she could rinse out her mouth. He retreated back to the biobed area just long enough to throw a towel over the mess on the floor and then rejoined her by the sink. She was studying her face closely in the mirror. Her hand was hovering over her right cheek as if afraid to touch it.

"Captain, are you alright?" Tom asked hesitantly.

"There was something here. Attached to my face." Her hand traced the side of her face up to the corner of her eye. Then she ran her hand through her hair. "My hair was gone."

Tom cleared his throat not wanting to think about how his wife and Captain had looked upon their return from the Borg ship. "Let's go sit down."

Kathryn looked up at him and then nodded absently. Tom guided her towards a chair in the Doctor's office not wanting her to see the towel covered mess or the haunted look on Chakotay's face. He pulled the chair around for her, but she walked past it straying to the edge of the desk. She stopped at the corner and placed her hands on the surface of the desktop. Tom watched warily as she looked up and past him into the open area of sickbay.

"I was standing here working on something." Her hand strayed to her left thigh. "I was shot. Someone shot me."

Tom exhaled and ran his hands through his hair. This was not going well. "You know what, why don't we get out of here? You never were one for staying in sickbay any longer than you had to."

The Doctor and Chakotay watched Tom lead Kathryn out to the corridor. "Where are they going?"

The Doctor shrugged, "Mr. Paris will keep her safe."

"Safe," Chakotay almost whispered. "I was so relieved she was safe. She looked horrible. Pale and scarred. But she was here."

Chakotay looked up from the biobed where his hands were resting. Confusion marred his features. The Doctor supplied the answer he was looking for, "Yes, we got her back from the Borg, and she had a lot of injuries. She recovered."

Chakotay nodded. "We always bring her back."

"Just like we did this time."

"What if she doesn't want to stay?"

When the doors to her quarters opened, Kathryn hesitantly walked inside with Tom at her side. Her eyes swept over the same things she had examined yesterday, but today they felt more familiar. Tom crossed to the replicator and ordered a coffee as she ran her hand along the bookcase.

"La Vita Neuvo," she murmured and pulled the book from the shelf. She ran her hand down a page and then looked up at Tom. "The Doctor's a hologram."

Tom half smiled and nodded handing her the cup of coffee.

"I didn't remember." She put the book down and wrapped both hands around the warm mug. "There are so many things. They're so disjointed that I can't make sense of them."

"You will," Tom said confidently. "If there's one thing I know, it's that Kathryn Janeway will find the solution."

She gave him a small smile and then cocked her head to the side the smile disappearing, "You were in prison."

"Uhm yeah, about that," he started uncomfortably but she waved her hand in the air silencing him. She brought her hand to her forehead.

"I think I want to be alone for awhile."

Tom didn't know what the Doc would say about that, but he really wasn't in a position to force his company on her either. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just need some time," she smiled briefly. "I think I'd like to take a bath and I really don't want you around for that."

"Well, if you need anything." He gestured towards her comm. badge, "Just call. Anything at all."

She nodded and he left. She looked around idly for a few moments then decided that a bath was definitely in order. "Computer begin audio playback of Janeway's personal logs starting with the most recent."

Chakotay found her several hours later sitting in the dark of her quarters. She was holding onto an empty mug and staring out at the stars. She didn't acknowledge him other than allowing him entrance.

"Kathryn, is everything alright?" He asked coming to a stop next to the couch.

She looked up at him. For a moment there was sadness in her eyes, but it disappeared. It was replaced with a hard glint. "Believing you was a mistake."

He was shocked at the way she hissed the words at him. "What?"

"It may not have been real Chakotay, but it felt like love." She stood letting the blanket that had been covering her legs fall in a pool at her feet. "And you took all of that away from me by going through with this procedure."

"Kathryn, I haven't taken anything from you. I love you. I always have and I always will," Chakotay said not understanding where this was coming from.

"But I don't return that love," she spoke coldly. "The only time I loved you was when I was under mind control."

"Don't say that. I know you loved me." He moved towards her but she put the desk between them. "What's happened in the past eight hours to make you think you don't love me?"

"The past eight hours? Try the past seven years," she spat. "You wanted to remember who we are; well I'm starting to remember. The great Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager. I've listened to her all afternoon. And when this procedure is over I'm going to remember to be the person that I've been on this ship for the past seven years. The person that speaks of you often. As her first officer. As her friend. Never as her love."

"Kathryn, I don't care about the past seven years or what happened on this ship. You and I loved each other on that planet for the past six weeks regardless of whether we loved each other or not before that."

"What did your logs say?" She cut him off. "I heard them, remember. You loved me before we ever went to that damn planet. They just implanted it into me to love you so they could keep us under control better."

"I don't care if they did implant it. All I care about is how you feel now." He again tried to close the distance but she moved away.

"I won't live a lie, Chakotay."

"And I don't want to live my life without you."

"That's not what you said before," she spoke with undisguised hurt in her voice. "You said you couldn't live your life without knowing what they know. Well, now we both know. Live with it."

"Kathryn."

"Get out."

"Don't do this, Kathryn."

She raised her chin and set her jaw. "It's already done."

He knew that look. The one that would not be moved. He wasn't ready to give up but he knew continuing at this point was useless. His heart ached to hold her, but he crossed to the doors. He turned to face her, "The Doctor wants us in sickbay first thing in the morning for the final treatment."

He watched her profile as she swallowed, "I know."

"Will you be there?"

Kathryn locked eyes with him for a moment before turning on her heel without answering. As Chakotay watched, she took up her previous position sitting on the couch staring out at the stars effectively dismissing him. He sighed and tried once more before going through the doors, "I love you Kathryn Janeway. Nothing will ever change that."

She gave no outward sign that she heard him. Only the viewport was witness to the tear rolling down her cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See part 1

Old Acquaintance Be Forgot Part 4 by Cheshire

Chakotay was relieved to see Kathryn in sickbay when he arrived the next morning for the final treatment. He tried to speak to her but she gave him the cold shoulder and ordered the Doctor to get on with the procedure. Paris raised an eyebrow at Chakotay, but he just shook his head at the younger man and laid down on the biobed.

Chakotay felt himself regaining consciousness and opened his eyes. The Doctor was hovering over him, "Welcome back, Commander. How do you feel?"

"Alright I suppose." He sat up and realized the bed next to him was empty. "Where's Kathryn?"

The Doctor sighed, "Mr. Paris is escorting her to her quarters as we speak. She insisted I wake her first before you. Then once she was awake she insisted on leaving before I could attend to you."

"That sounds like Kathryn," Chakotay sighed. "Was everything a success?"

"Yes. Over the course of the day all of your previous memories will seem familiar again. There may be a few blank spots here and there for a few days, but you both will regain everything that you lost."

"Not everything," Chakotay muttered before turning to the Doctor. "So am I free to go?"

"Yes, you may go to your quarters. I want you to take it easy for the next twenty-four hours before you return to duty." The Doctor stepped aside so Chakotay could put his feet on the floor. "Oh, and please inform the Captain I still need to see her about her after care."

"After care?"

The Doctor hedged, "Yes, well, she left out of here so quickly I didn't have a chance to go over everything with her."

"What's left to go over?" Chakotay asked.

The Doctor was saved from having to give a complete answer when Samantha Wildman walked into sickbay, "Ah, Ms Wildman, thank you for stopping by. You can go, Commander."

Chakotay was still confused about why the Doctor wanted to see Kathryn, but he was more than willing to accept the excuse to make a quick exit.

Kathryn and Tom rode the turbolift to her deck in complete silence. Kathryn was too involved in her own thoughts to notice how closely Tom was watching her. It had taken everything she had to walk out of that sickbay, and not stay by Chakotay's side. She loved him so much despite what she had said, but she would not allow herself to be ruled by some after effect of mind control. It had to be an implanted emotion and memory because she hadn't been able to find anything in her logs that would suggest anything else was possible. It was obvious she held him in high regards and felt very close to him as a Captain would for her first officer. It was also obvious he was a close personal friend outside of what his second in command duties required, but no where did she say she loved him. She sighed as she and Tom reached her door, "Thank you, Tom."

Tom felt like it was now or never, "If you really want to thank me, you can tell me what's going on."

"I beg your pardon?" Kathryn stopped just inside her quarters and glared at him.

Tom went for broke and stepped through, letting the doors close behind him. No reason anyone else should hear the Captain ordering him to the brig, "You have never before left Chakotay's side in sickbay, and today you insist on being gone before he even wakes up."

"You are out of line, Lieutenant."

"I wasn't talking to the Captain. I was talking to Kathryn." Tom circled her. "Why, after everything that's happened, are you turning your back on him?"

She pulled her command mask in place before turning to him. She wanted to present a stony front to his arguments, but the mask didn't seem to fit as well as it did before. "It is precisely because of everything that has happened that I have to."

"I was there remember. I saw you on the planet." He put his hands on her shoulders. "It was probably the first time in seven years I've seen you so happy and relaxed, and it's because you were with him."

Kathryn clenched her jaw. She wanted to yell and scream at him for bringing her back. She wanted to rave at him for destroying her one chance at happiness. She wanted to tell him to get out. But she couldn't. If she so much as opened her mouth the whole house of cards would come crumbling down around her.

Tom let his hands fall from her shoulders and his chin dropped towards his chest. "You have no idea how hard it was. We had been so worried about you and then we finally found you. You were safe and unharmed. Mostly anyway. You were happy, and then it came down to us to tear you away from that. I'm sorry."

He turned and started for the door but her whisper stopped him.

"I loved him."

"You still do," he answered her.

She looked up and Tom saw her eyes were bright with unshed tears. She nodded.

"And he loves you, Kathryn," Tom spoke quietly.

"But as the Captain it wouldn't really be appropriate for me to…" Her thought trailed off, but her hand was clenching nervously by her side.

Tom straightened up, "Seven years ago you gave me a second chance at a life I thought had given up on me. I was able to find a balance and I finally allowed myself to fall in love and be loved in return. Think of this as me returning the favor."

Chakotay didn't go to his quarters. He found it ironic that he hadn't had all of his memories returned for an hour, and he was already going against doctor's orders. He went to engineering instead.

He found B'Elanna head and shoulders deep underneath a warp conduit. He lightly kicked her feet and earned himself a growl, "Whoever that is better be gone before I manage…Commander!"

He smiled and offered her a hand up. "Lt, you were saying?"

B'Elanna hesitated and then took his hand, "Sorry. I wasn't expecting you. How are you?"

"I'll be alright. I wondered if we could talk."

"Sure," she said and headed for her office. She waited for him to speak, unsure of how he felt towards her now that he had his memories back.

"I wanted to thank you, B'Elanna," he said after an uncomfortable silence settled between them.

"For what?"

"For bringing us back."

She snorted at his answer and then sighed, "I'm sorry."

"We didn't belong there."

"But you were happy."

"Yes. But it wasn't real."

"It was real, Chakotay. Don't ever think it wasn't."

He tugged at his ear, "Well, she disagrees."

"What?" B'Elanna jumped to her feet. "What did she say?"

"She feels that it was all part of the memory manipulation that they did on the planet."

"I was afraid she would try something like this." B'Elanna paced the small area behind her desk. "Well, she won't be able to hide from it for very long."

"What do you mean?" Chakotay asked.

B'Elanna froze in mid-pace with her back to him. She squeezed her eyes shut disbelieving what she had just said. "Nothing."

"You meant something by it B'Elanna, or you wouldn't have said it." Chakotay stood up.

"This pregnancy is making me lose my mind, Chakotay. I never should have said anything. It's not my place." B'Elanna tried.

"The Doctor wants to talk to her about after care after the procedure but he doesn't tell me anything. And now you know something." Chakotay paused and then the color drained from his face. "Was there something wrong with the procedure? Is Kathryn okay?"

"She's fine, Chakotay," She tried to placate him. "It's nothing."

"Then why does the Doctor need to see her? He must've found something."

B'Elanna pushed Chakotay down into the chair, "Chakotay, listen to me. There is nothing wrong with Kathryn. We picked up something on her medical scans when we brought the two of you back, and that's why the Doctor wants to talk to her."

"What did those bastards do to her? Does she know?"

"I'm going to be in so much trouble for this," B'Elanna muttered and then sighed. "Do you remember everything that happened while you were on the planet?"

"Yes, you know that."

"You and the Captain were living together."

"Yeah, we thought we were engaged. We were even trying to have a child together," Chakotay said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You were successful."

"Successful at what? What do you mean?" Chakotay asked and then at B'Elanna's exasperated look it dawned on him. "Do you mean? Are you telling me? Kathryn's pregnant?"

B'Elanna chewed on her lip.

"Kathryn's pregnant." Chakotay slumped back into the chair. "Does she know?"

"I doubt it, if the Doctor is trying to talk to her about after care."

"Why didn't he tell us earlier?"

"The two of you had enough to deal with just getting your memories back." B'Elanna shrugged and sat back down. "The Doctor wanted to get the Captain back before he added to her concerns."

They sat in silence for a few moments letting the news sink in. Finally, Chakotay huffed dryly, "The Doctor may have waited to tell the Captain, but Kathryn's going to kill him."

Kathryn hated pacing. She felt it was a waste of energy that could be better used elsewhere. She'd been pacing ever since Tom left. Her route had started out just in front of the couch but now she was walking from bulkhead to bulkhead. Everything had been so clear yesterday, and now. What? She scrubbed her hands over her face and then ran them through her hair leaving it looking disheveled. She had reached her bedroom once again and she stopped pacing. She stared at the bed and gave a dry chuckle. She hadn't even used her own bed since she'd been back. She kept waking up in sickbay or staying on the couch all night. She almost swayed when she thought about how tired she actually was. It had been a very long and very emotional few days.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and took off her boots. She shook her head as she remembered now why she wore such tall boots. Just yesterday, she had been looking in her closet at her shoes and wondering why anyone would willingly choose to wear three inch heels all the time. Then she noticed that she was talking to Paris' chest, and decided she would begin to wear the heels again.

She threw the boots in the direction of the closet and stretched out on the bed. Her mind was still racing with thoughts of Chakotay and how to handle that situation when her hand brushed up against something solid underneath her pillow. "What the hell?"

She lifted the pillow to find her hand resting on a leather bound book. If she wasn't such a woman of science she may have thought it was a Bible. She turned it over and the cover read, To Phoebe Janeway. It sparked a cascade of memories. This was her journal. Everything she'd ever wanted to say was written in this book in the guise of a personal letter to her sister. Anything and everything she hadn't dared to put in a file that Starfleet may one day read. She opened the book and began to read.

_Phoebe, my God what have I done….I condemned everyone on this ship….None of us will see home for another 70 years…I've made the man I was supposed to arrest my first officer…I'm going to be taking a lot of cold showers over the next seventy years…_

_…I let it slip today…I actually told him that if I had any questions about mating I'd come to him…_

_….I killed a man today, Phoebe…I wanted Tuvok back….I wanted Kes to have Neelix back…I stayed stoic in front of my crew….He found me in my ready room….He sat with me….I still don't know if he agreed with me…._

_…..They came back for us…..everything has changed…Or at least it should…..It was just Chakotay and I there…Not the Captain and the Commander….I have to be the Captain again instead of just Kathryn…We weren't lovers…yet…..but we had moved past the constraints of our shipboard roles….What will we become now…_

_...I died today, Phoebe….I saw his anguish and grief at the thought that I was dead…..he loves me….the look on his face when I caught him staring at me tonight in the moonlight of Lake George…_

_...He told me I'd never be alone and then I made a deal with the devil…..he had deserted me…That made it so much easier for me to be angry with him…I didn't want to hear about any consequences I'd have to face….the enemy we knew versus the enemy we didn't know and then….we stopped fighting each other and our working together saved us all…_

_….ask me about my time in WWII one day…I think Captain Miller was fond of this gung-ho gal…_

_….I have to deal with a dear John letter….He tried very hard not to look happy about it….that safety net has been removed and Phoebe, there aren't too many left…_

_…..My crew mutinied on me today…they protected me from myself the same as you did with that bucket of water…and it was all his doing…I can't exactly punish him for saving my life…_

_…..this time tomorrow we'll be home and you'll finally get to meet him…if this doesn't work this journal may be all that's left…..my family acted with distinction and honor….I love them all but especially….._

_…..never believe what I had to do today….it was almost fun….wish Chakotay had seen me in that outfit…_

_….I would've crossed a line today if it hadn't been for Chakotay….hell, I did cross a line….But he kept me from going so far over the edge I couldn't find my way back…And at the time, I hated him for it…_

_...I woke up in sickbay today…the first thing I saw was his face…I wish I could wake up that way everyday…_

_…..I'm going to be assimilated later today…I'm scared…He held me tonight…..As I'm sure Tom held B'Elanna…if he should read this journal now because I didn't make it back….I love him…_

_…..He was under the influence of mind control….but the way he looked at me, I felt like prey…He came close to killing me….I finally got him calmed down….I'll be here when he wakes up and once again we will pick up the pieces together…_

_...He's gone down to the cargo bay to get another bottle of cider…There's something he isn't telling me…_

_….I cant wait until the morning….I'm getting off of this ship for several days…with Chakotay….supplies as always….a chance to spend some time with him away from the command structure…..we can have a few more moments together to satiate the aching hunger for him that has become my constant companion…_

Hours later Kathryn laid her head down on the pillows and smiled. It hadn't been just the planet. She had loved him for years. She closed her eyes against the fresh tears of joy that threatened to break free. It was such a relief to know that those six weeks really had been a dream come true and not just some alien's sick joke. And what was even better was protocol had been broken and there was nothing she could do about it. It was already done and it was only logical for her to continue this relationship. She could make her command log reflect that easily. She had to talk to him.

She sat up so she could retrieve her boots and the room began to spin. She quickly laid back down trying to shake it off. She was tired and she sat up too fast. That was all. She decided to rest for a few minutes before leaving to find him.

The red alert klaxons sounded waking Kathryn moments before the ship rocked and she was thrown from the bed. She stood immediately wanting to throw on her boots and head for the bridge, but she had to run for the sink instead. She tried to push down the bile that was rising in her throat but didn't manage it and found herself washing her mouth out when the ship rocked a second time.

"Oh, that's enough of that." Kathryn grabbed her boots and headed for the bridge. Her bridge.

"I am the acting Captain and I request that you cease firing on this vessel," Tuvok spoke to the alien on the screen.

"Acting Captain, bah," the alien sneered. "That means nothing to me. Your vessel is puny and I will destroy it unless you give me the respect I deserve. I will speak with the Captain. No one else."

"Hold your fire."

Harry looked up from his console and watched Kathryn Janeway step away from the turbolift. He had never been so happy to speak up, "Captain on the bridge."

Tom spun in his chair to watch her walk down the steps and around to the center of the bridge. He smiled and turned back to the viewscreen. He almost felt bad for the alien.

"Captain?" Tuvok asked at the same time stepping aside to give her the place that was rightfully hers.

"Don't worry, Mr. Tuvok. I'm all here." She turned back to the alien on the viewscreen and with her hand on her hip she announced, "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway."

The alien surveyed this strange small woman that had just strode onto the bridge. He had watched all the reactions to her entrance from the men he had been talking with. He let out a bark of laughter, "Now that. I can believe. We Captains are a rare breed and can recognize one another, can we not?"

Janeway regarded the alien's amusement at her appearance. "And you are?"

"Captain Falcome of the Ghul. We control this part of space, Captain." He chuckled and leaned forward. "I would be happy to offer my services as your personal escort while you are in our space."

Kathryn heard the turbolift doors open behind her and knew that Chakotay had entered. She smiled inwardly and felt him take his place at her side. "Allow me to introduce my first officer to you, Captain Falcome this is Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay barely nodded and the alien chuckled again, "Well, Captain. I guess you won't be needing a personal escort after all. More's the pity."

Janeway graced his response with only a nod. "We mean no intrusion on your space, we are simply trying to reach our home. Can we reach an agreement?"

"Of course, Captain. You and I speak as equals for our people. And now that your purpose here has been established we desire no quarrel with you." Captain Falcome relaxed back in his seat. "My vessel will stay with yours until you reach the borders of our space."

"I thank you for your generosity, Captain." Janeway shook her head slightly as the viewscreen returned to a view of the stars. "Does everyone in the Delta Quadrant have to shoot first and ask questions second?"

"It would appear so, Captain," Chakotay said with some emphasis on her rank. She turned to face him at his comment and he simply smiled at her. "The Doctor wants you to stop by sickbay."

"He always does," she chuckled wryly. "Commander, I wonder if you'd join me for dinner this evening?"

"I don't know, Captain. I seem to remember you having an argument with your replicator." At her raised eyebrow he quickly added, "However, I would be honored if you'd allow me the honors of arranging dinner."

"Agreed." She stood up from her chair. "You have the bridge, Commander. I'll be in engineering."

"Don't forget the Doctor." Chakotay tried again but she just waved him off as she walked to the turbolift. He smiled and shook his head. She'd learn soon enough.

B'Elanna had finally wedged herself back under the warp conduit that Chakotay had found her under. She had just assessed that all the work she had completed earlier had been undone by the 'friendly' greeting of the most recent Delta Quadrant denizen. She let loose with a few expletives for good measure at the exposed circuitry.

"Are you going to kiss your baby with that mouth, Lt?"

B'Elanna was so surprised to be addressed that she sat straight up, forgetting where she was and banging her head on the open panel. She swore again and then more carefully peered out from under the console spotting a pair of boots. The only person besides her that wore boots that tall was the Captain. She felt like swearing again. "Sorry, Captain. Is there something I can help you with?"

Janeway squatted down on her heels so that she was eye level with B'Elanna. She smiled, "Actually, I was going to ask you that."

B'Elanna regarded her carefully trying to ascertain what her Captain was up to. "You could hand me that hydrospanner."

The Captain settled herself onto the floor at B'Elanna's feet and handed her the requested tool. B'Elanna took it and lay back down underneath the console. She looked up at the circuitry not really seeing it. She was thinking more about the woman sitting at her feet. She almost missed it when the Captain spoke.

"I never thanked you, B'Elanna." She cleared her throat. "For bringing me home."

B'Elanna rose up on her elbows and regarded Janeway carefully. "I never thanked you for saving my life."

Janeway looked up at her and smiled, "I guess that means we're even."

"I guess so," B'Elanna agreed and they both fell silent.

"Well," Janeway broke the momentary silence. "That conduit isn't going to fix itself."

B'Elanna smiled, "I guess it's a good thing I'm better than the last engineer you hired."

"We'll see," Janeway said and leveraged herself underneath the console. "Now, Lt, are you going to use that hydrospanner?"

Two hours later, B'Elanna slid out from underneath the console. "That should do it, Captain."

"I sure hope so," Janeway laughed pulling herself out. "Soon you'll be too big to get under there like that."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes but was prevented from commenting when the Captain swayed as she stood up. "Captain?"

"I'm fine." Janeway managed to say before she fell into B'Elanna's arms.

B'Elanna got the Captain lowered to the floor and waved off Vorik's concerned help. She hit her comm. badge as she saw Janeway coming around. "Torres to the Doctor."

"Go ahead."

"I'll be bringing the Captain down in just a few minutes." She smirked at the Captain's confused expression. "Just as soon as I get her back on her feet."

"Is everything alright?"

"Nothing unexpected." B'Elanna signed off and got Janeway on her feet. "C'mon Captain, let's go."

Janeway was rubbing her forehead. "I'm sorry, B'Elanna. I don't know what came over me."

"I do." B'Elanna called for the turbolift. "Let's go to sickbay."

"The Doctor did want me to come by." She looked up registering what B'Elanna had said. "What did you mean, you know?"

"Not this time." B'Elanna shook her head and led her Captain into sickbay.

Chakotay was mildly surprised when she rang for entrance thirty minutes early, but was thrilled to see her nonetheless. "Hi."

"Hi." She was dressed casually and carrying a book. She walked in and stood fidgeting by the couch. "I'm early, I know."

"That's okay. I'm happy to see you," he said. "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Coffee, please."

She sipped at the coffee he gave her and stared into its depths. Chakotay could tell she was working her way towards saying something she found difficult breaching. He desperately wanted to ask if she had been to see the Doctor, but felt it would be too obvious. Instead he asked, "What's the book?"

"Hmm? Oh, this." She showed him the cover. "It's a seven year open-ended letter to my sister."

He found that odd. "Why didn't you keep it on the computer? That way you could've sent it to her in the datastream?"

She smiled and shook her head, "No, this is too personal to be kept on a computer."

He waited for her to explain.

"I, uh," she cleared her throat. "Haven't been very kind to you over the years or thanked you for everything you've done for me."

"Kathryn," he began to argue but she stopped him.

"Please, Chakotay, let me get this said."

He nodded.

"This book contains all my true feelings. My deepest emotions. Everything that I have kept hidden from everyone, including you." She swallowed. "I started out keeping a letter to Phoebe after my first experience with the Cardassians. Y'know the one with Owen."

Chakotay nodded not sure where she was heading with this.

"I wanted to go back on duty immediately but as part of my counseling review they questioned me about my feelings concerning the experience. It became clear to me during that interview that Starfleet had deemed it prudent to read my personal logs." She took a fortifying sip of her coffee. "Since then, I've always kept my personal logs only slightly less professional than my officer logs. Any true worries or concerns, I put into the form of personal correspondence to my sister, and not recorded on a computer.

"This is the journal I started seven years ago when I started this mission. One of the first entries, well, you can guess what the first entry said," she chuckled dryly. "Even though I have all of my memories back, I sat and read through this entire book after the last treatment."

She didn't seem to know how to continue. Chakotay brooked the silence, "Did it help?"

"There's a lot of me in that book," she answered after a moment's thought. "A lot of me that I locked away a long time ago. Or so I thought. Turns out, I just needed some minor memory swiping to learn how to be Kathryn again."

He smiled at her slight humor but remained silent.

"I'll always be the Captain, but after this experience, I know I want to be Kathryn as well." She took his hand in hers and looked him in the eye, "I love you, Chakotay. It'll never be simple, and we'll probably never have an easy life. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I hope I'm not too late."

"You could never be too late." He smiled and kissed her hand. "I love Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Starship Voyager."

"In that order?"

"In that order." He smiled again giving her the full dimples.

"Thank goodness," she laughed and leaned back against his chest taking his arm and draping it over her shoulder. "I missed you the past few days."

He chuckled, "Kathryn, you kicked me out of your quarters."

"I love you more today than I did yesterday," she said smiling up at him mischievously. "Because yesterday you really pissed me off."

He laughed long and hard until she silenced him with a kiss. When they came up for air he asked, "Does this mean you aren't interested in dinner?"

"No, I'm just giving you a preview of what's for dessert." She stood up and pulled him to his feet. "We need to have dinner. I'm starving."

"Aye, aye Captain." He couldn't help smiling as he walked over to the replicator. Kathryn actually wanted to eat something besides coffee. He guessed that was going to be something he'd have to adjust to over the next eight months. "Did you go see the Doctor?"

He turned to look at her when she didn't answer. She had both hands on her hips and her eyes were narrowed in his direction. "What?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, "You know."

It was not a question, and he couldn't help the smile that started to spread across his face. She threw one of the carefully arranged dinner napkins at him, "How did you find out?"

He caught the napkin and then her hand as she tried to throw the other one at him. He held both of her hands behind her back as he trapped her between his body and the bulkhead. He looked down into her face and he had to remind himself to breathe. "Is it true?"

Her eyes turned dark as the heat from his body made her knees go weak. She licked her lips trying to catch the warmth from his breath. She smiled at his question, "Yes. We're going to have a baby."

Lt. Ayala was conducting his security rounds when he passed Commander Chakotay's quarters and heard a loud whoop of laughter followed by a very feminine squeal coming from the other side of the closed doors. He decided he'd better double up his bet in Tom's pool as soon as he got to the bridge.

_Phoebe, I'm sure you've noticed that I've been writing less to you these past several months…. I now have someone to share my joys and fears with besides these pages…. I don't know how many years we have left in our journey, but I know he'll stay with me….If Quarra hadn't happened, I would have never known another life was possible….a life with him…._

Chakotay entered the quarters he shared with Kathryn and was surprised by the sight that greeted him. The Doctor had finally convinced Kathryn to limit her work days due to her advanced stage of pregnancy. Kathryn would leave the bridge after four hours, but Chakotay usually found her working on reports at the desk in their quarters when he came off shift. Tonight, however, she was sound asleep on the couch.

Chakotay drank in the peaceful sight. She had a blanket covering her feet, a glass of tea cooling on the table, and a discarded book lying on the floor. The book, standing on its side supported by its bending pages, had obviously slipped from her fingers as she fell asleep.

He moved quietly to her side leaning down to kiss her forehead. He moved the book to the table as he watched her eyes flutter open.

She smiled sleepily up at him, "You caught me."

"So, you do sleep." He laughed lightly.

Kathryn sat up making room for him to sit on the couch. As soon as he was seated, she settled herself back against him.

"What were you reading?" He asked indicating the book on the table.

"I wasn't reading," Kathryn explained her eyes falling shut again as she snuggled in closer to him. "I was letting Phoebe know, I wouldn't be writing to her as much anymore now that I have you."

Chakotay smiled at the sleepy sound in her voice and waited quietly. Within a few minutes she was asleep again. He continued to stroke her hair as he thought about how they had gotten to this point. Their bodies had been taken, their minds twisted, their memories removed, but their hearts could not be changed. Throughout the years and everything that had happened since their first meeting, their love for each other had continued inexorably towards its goal. The events on Quarra had made them question their own identities, but their hearts never forgot. Despite past transgressions and hardships, despite recent questions and accusations, their love for each other persisted until it was embraced.

Chakotay smiled to himself, and kissed the top of his sleeping wife's head. He let his hand rest on the swell of her abdomen. He felt the baby kick and saw a frown mar Kathryn's forehead. She could look disgruntled even in sleep. He ran his hand over her rounded tummy, "Ssshh, little one, you'll wake your mother."

The baby seemed to quiet at Chakotay's voice and Kathryn's face relaxed. He felt his heart swell with love and knew that this moment would be another part of his heart that could never be forgotten.


End file.
